Still hanging in there!

Things have been so busy I don't even know how to describe it. Here it is April 17th and we're finally winding down this semester at school. All clinicals are now done, all classes at school are now done. We have 2 Elluminates (online lectures), 3 simulations, and one exam and a final left. As of today there are 16 days left until the final! I am so ready for it to end. Don't get me wrong, because I love it so far and I have learned so much this year, but my brain seriously needs a vacation! lol

I had a really crappy time of it around my birthday, but it's over and I've moved on. I have a really sweet friend in school who heard about how crappy my birthday was and she actually went and had flowers sent to me at clinicals (a simple trip to the hospital gift shop and voila....you can make someone's day!). It was really sweet of her.

Class has been my life these past few months and that's ok because it makes the time fly by. Thank goodness the boys are teenagers so that they can fend for themselves. Not that they're home alone or anything, but if they see me studying, they know what they can and can't and they've been trying very hard to just get their stuff done without bothering me. They've been mostly great (but again, teenagers, so not always. No one's perfect though. I'm sure according to them I am not always great either...haha)!

We're over the halfway mark in the deployment now and that's a relief. I've had to give up some stressors in life and just focus on the kids and school. DH comes to mind only when I pop him an email some evenings or I'm talking to him on skype, but other than that, he goes to the back of my mind for now. That's how busy I am and believe me, I love my husband to death, but I just have to compartmentalize life for now.

So, stressors I'm giving up?

The news. Yeah, it sounds funny, but do you realize how many depressing or blood boiling things you see on there? I just don't have the energy to expend on it anymore, so it's gone!

Losing weight/Eating Healthy. Yes, I wanted desperately to do it, but when it becomes even more of a stressor than school and deployments and teenage problems, I need to cut it out. I exercise when I can, sometimes that's once a week, sometimes 3 times a week, sometimes none at all, and I can't beat myself up over it. School will be done in 16 days and I can get into my workout routine then. I will have 2-3 months left when I get out of school to work on the weight thing before DH comes home. Unfortunately with the lack of time and the insanity of schedules, fast food comes into play a lot right now. I mean, who wants to think about what to cook at 6pm when the kids need showers and homework done and so do I? Tough shit, I'm just going to do what I can to keep everyone cared for and fed and if I don't lose weight right now, then I will later. I'm hoping to get into a good routine this summer as well as getting outside and doing things around the house which will help. At that time, I'll go off soda again and eat better.

Cleaning House. Yeah, I have an excuse not to do it! Sure, I'm embarrassed to have anyone drop by, but luckily I live enough out of the way that it doesn't happen very often. I mean, my neighbor comes over and I just apologize profusely for the way the house looks, but come on. It's not a dump! The floors and couches get vacuumed every weekend, the counters get washed down once a week, dishes are kept up by the kids and they are doing their own laundry, so it's not like things are crazy all over the house. But people walk in and the "shoe dump" is right by the door. Do you have a "shoe dump"? It's where people walk in and kick off their shoes and they just stay there. So I have my winter boots, my crocs, my tennis shoes. The boys have their school shoes and play shoes and winter boots. One kid has his dad's boots that he gave him and a pair of his good shoes there too. Normally I allow 2 pairs of shoes per person in this area, one they go outside in and a pair of slipons, but with winter, I've let the winter stuff stay around. Also normally, the shoes are nicely lined up. However, I have no time to worry about if there's a shoe in the middle of the entry way or if one of the dogs has brought one into the middle of the family room there. Who cares? I refuse to stress over this. The kitchen table has become the collecting grounds for any mail I have yet to put away or anything the kids don't need in their bags anymore. Not usually, but now, I'm just letting it go. Occasionally I'll go through it and throw crap away or tell the kids if they want it, do something with it, but it's not being kept up like usual.

Obligation stitching. Yeah, I'm setting it down for now. I was trying to work so hard on my Grandpa's piece, but I just can't right now. I have to make myself do homework and all the dropoffs/pickups from practices, games, meets study sessions, I refuse to do something else that I don't feel like doing! In fact I haven't stitched much at all since the last time I posted probably. That's ok, I'll pick it up later this summer or something.

Guilty pleasures I'm using to relieve stress:

Reading, reading, reading! I'm a reader, always have been, always will be. Love it so much. I've got book releases on my calendar in my email from my favorite author and I try to work very hard to get my homework done early so I can have a guilt free weekend day to read to my heart's content! Usually it's interspersed with having to run out and grab some milk or cat food or something crazy like that, but for the most part, I'm able to have one guilt free weekend day and the boys have been fabulous lately about leaving me to it!

Soda. I love soda. I don't drink coffee or energy drinks. I don't drink alcohol very often, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, but by God, I'm going to drink my soda. Yeah, it's empty calories and goes along with that whole losing weight/eating right thing. Think about it for a second. I have to drag my ass out of bed at 4:30 in the morning so that I can get ready and look "professional" and drive an hour away for clinicals WITHOUT COFFEE?!? My friend at clinicals looks at me and asks, "Can I get you a Mountain Dew?" I'm going to say "HELL YES!!!" And then I started drinking more soda. I was doing so well and drinking only water, but screw that. I needed the caffeine! Too bad we signed that contract stating I wouldn't start an IV on my classmates or family or I'd have figured out a way to let one of them start me up a caffeine drip in the mornings!

Music. I love music too. I've been listening to some bands that probably aren't really mainstream, but I sure do love my music! My favorite is Blue October, but quickly reaching them have been bands like Thriving Ivory, Ryan Star, 30 Seconds to Mars. My iTunes spending has gone a little crazy lately, but that's ok. I'm allowing myself to spend it. I've put thousands of dollars in our savings account since my hubby left, I think I'm allowed a little bit of musical pleasure here and there. Besides, I've got music for when I'm mad and can crank it, music for when I'm sad and need to shed a few tears, music to beebop along to while doing homework. Music makes the world go round, doesn't it? (By the way, will be adjusting my playlist to make up for my new tastes.)

I actually had my hair done the other day too. Now usually I'll go reddish in the winter and more blond in the summer as far as the highlights go. DH loves me red, but I really like the blond because it makes me feel summer-y. So I went with a mixture and had red and blond highlights done together. I really love it. He wants me to have it done again right before he comes home. It was nice to get out of the house and not have to worry about school and the kids for awhile. Oh wait, that's not true because about 45 minutes before I was done, my kid called and told me he left his housekey at home. Yeah, that wasn't so fun, but hey, at least it was warm enough he could dump his bag on the porch and go walk the neighbor's dog to kill some time!

Movies. I've seen more movies since DH has been gone than I probably saw when he was home! The kids have been great about going with me. Even to chick flicks! My youngest went with me to see I am Number Four which I loved and then we went back again the next day and made my oldest go with us. He loved it. Then a couple of weeks later, my oldest went with me to see Beastly which was cute. He enjoyed it as well. We had a big break there when school was getting tough, but just last weekend all 3 of us went to see Arthur which was pretty funny. We've been renting some ON Demand movies too when we don't get a chance to go out. My youngest watched Devil with me yesterday. I am SOOOOO glad one of the kids loves scary movies! I love them, but DH....well, not so much. At least I have someone that can go with me now!

The good thing is, I think I've found a balance to manage the rest of this deployment. It was difficult for me to find it at first, but we've eased into a routine here now that is working pretty well. All 3 of us are counting down until school ends. My oldest is excited to be making some money by walking the neighbor's dog 3-4 times a week and that is keeping him busy. My youngest is keeping busy with school and track. I got my last homework assignment done last night and I feel like I can participate in life a little more now. Of course, I'll turn into a hermit to study for the exams, but soon, I'll get 3 months off which will be wonderful!

It's the last deployment! I keep saying it and am so excited about it. My hubby hit 22 years in the service a few days ago and since he'll retire at 24, they won't be sending him back and soon we'll get to move back home and be around family and everything will be great!